| Vic |
| Thursday, July 28 2005 @ 09:31 AM EDT |
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 I'm soooo glad to be a DC fan. I read some Marvel: New Avengers, She Hulk, and back issues of ALF, but recently I had to stop reading Spiderman entirely. I hope this doesn't spoil anything for folks who have been out of the loop.
GWEN STACY SCREWED NORMAN "I'M THE FREAKING GREEN GOBLIN" OSBORNE!?!?!?! I know this isn't "new" new news, but it made me stop reading Spidey which I didn't think was possible.
For those of you who have never read Spiderman or don't know, Gwen Stacy was Peter Parker's sainted dead girlfriend whose memory still remains in the back of Spiderman's mind. Next to Uncle Ben, she is probably the most influencial character to come from the early Spidey mythos. Yes, Peter will always remember Gwen.. just probably a little differently now.
Sweet, pristine, DEAD Gwen Stacy had an affair with Osborne and created children with him before she died? Was it Assistant Editor's Month at Marvel when this happened? Only the writer/editor and the web trolls will even try to make it sound as if this is anything but the single dumbest piece of crap idea ever in a Spidey title. That includes the Spider buggy by the way.
Apparantly inspired by the Friends TV story arc where Ross cheated on Rachel insisting that "they were on a break," Gwen travels to Europe and sleeps with one of her best friend's dad at the same time totally peeing on her relationship with Spiderman/Peter Parker. I'm still trying to decide what level of HO/*censored* this makes Gwen... I'd wager somewhere between Tonya Harding and the mean chick from The Apprentice.
The sad thing is that Marvel editorship doesn't see the problem with this story. I'm hoping that Marvel fixes this with some CRISIS like story, because this will certainly be harder to fix than killing Aunt May. It really makes me wish we had a real life Spectre like in the DCU that could make me forget I ever read that story like he made the world forget the Flash's secret identity. Honestly, what is next Marvel? Why don't you bring back Fin Fang Foom and Devil Dinosaur? Oh wait..
Now all I need is a large scale Devil Dinosaur figure in the Marvel Legends toy line to put on my shelf so I can give a ten minute explanation to my friends informing them just who the heck this is and a twenty minute follow up explaining to them how I can possibly know that and not be a freaking loser. Of course I suppose I could just use the argument, "Hey, at least it wasn't my idea for Gwen Stacy to bone the Green Goblin!"
Maybe we can get a Marvel Legends Goblin now with a free pack in Gwen Stacy bent over doggie style for some REAL Mighty Marvel Action. WTF!?!
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Gee, I don't know who's luckier: Gwen or Gobby.
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What if they were the 'seven deadly dwarfs'?
Greedy dwarf,
Envious dwarf,
Gluttonous dwarf
Doc